Self diagnosis

Evidently I developed hemophilia while I was at college, which is actually impossible, but I have a hard time accounting for the fact that my ear bled continuously for over thirty hours.* But one gallon of Cream of Wheat seems to have cured something**, and I've gone over two days without waking up in a pool of my own blood and wondering if I'd had another incident. Thrilling.

* I spent part of those thirty hours at the airport. Sea-Tac has been kind to me on both of my visits. I will never forget the horror and repulsion of the woman who I asked, even as I was being frisked by security, for some tissues. She had one of those handy pocket packs of Kleenex, and after I'd mopped up the mess, I asked her if she minded that I keep them. She replied, very emphatically, "I want you to keep them." I realize that it may have been a bit graceless to imply to this woman that she would want to keep a sticky pack of blood soaked tissues, but I think it would've been pretty rude to just take them off her hands entirely without asking.
** And by something I mean iron deficiency.